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The Call

The prospect had previously no-showed for a scheduled sales call and had rescheduled this meeting. When the call began, the tone was already off.

The prospect made it clear they would not be looking at me during the conversation because they needed to watch another screen where their assistant was communicating with them.

Almost immediately, they moved past any meaningful conversation and wanted to know only one thing: services and pricing.

That is a fair question.

Every prospect has the right to understand what they are buying, what problem is being solved, and what level of investment is required.

So I began to explain.

Before I could finish my sentence, they talked over me.

I stopped and tried again.

They interrupted again.

After another attempt to answer the question they had asked, I finally said something along the lines of, “Am I going to be allowed to finish speaking so I can answer your question?”

At that point, the conversation shifted into a patronizing tone, and I made it clear that based on how the call was proceeding, we would not be interested in working together.

On the surface, that sounds reasonable.

And to be clear, I still believe the prospect was not a good fit.

Not every person who has a budget should become a client. Not every opportunity is an assignment. Not every open door is from God. Some relationships will drain the team, disrupt the process, and pull the business away from the people it is truly called to serve.

There are times when declining business is not only wise.

It is faithful stewardship.

When Stewardship and Ego Sound the Same

After the call, I reviewed the transcript.

That review made something painfully clear.

The moment I felt disrespected, my posture changed. I was no longer simply evaluating fit. I was defending worth.

That is where the Holy Spirit began dealing with me.

The prospect’s behavior did reveal meaningful red flags. The lack of respect for the conversation, the interruptions, the divided attention, and the tone all pointed to a relationship that would likely not be healthy for our agency.

But my response revealed something too.

It revealed that I still had a place in me that wanted to be honored before I was willing to remain servant-hearted.

That is a hard thing to admit.

It is much easier to say, “They were rude.”

It is much easier to say, “They were not a good fit.”

It is much easier to say, “I had to protect my team.”

All of those things may be true.

But they were not the whole truth.

The deeper truth was that their behavior touched something in me that was not dead yet.

It touched my desire to be respected.

It touched my expectation that my time, my experience, and my expertise should be treated with a certain level of honor.

Again, respect is not wrong.

Honor is not wrong.

Healthy communication is not wrong.

But when my ability to walk in the Spirit depends on whether another person treats me properly, respect has moved from being a value to becoming an idol.

A Servant’s Heart Still Discerns

This is where leaders have to be careful.

That distinction matters.

Servanthood is not weakness.

Servanthood is not passivity.

Servanthood is not handing the keys of your business to someone who has already shown they will not honor the process, the team, or the work.

Jesus served people with perfect love, but He did not entrust Himself to everyone.

He washed feet, but He also withdrew from crowds.

He answered questions, but He also remained silent before accusation.

He was never controlled by the approval, rejection, dishonor, or misunderstanding of others.

That is the standard.

Not merely making correct decisions.

Making them from a surrendered heart.

As leaders, we must be able to say no without contempt.

We must be able to decline business without offense.

We must be able to protect the assignment without defending our ego.

We must be able to discern a poor fit without needing the other person to validate our worth.

That is where Kingdom leadership gets tested.

Not when everyone is respectful.

Not when every prospect is gracious.

Not when every meeting goes according to plan.

The test often comes when someone interrupts us, dismisses us, talks over us, patronizes us, or treats our expertise like a commodity. Those moments reveal what is still alive in us.

Crucified With Christ

Galatians 2:20 says:

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.”

That verse sounds powerful until the thing being crucified is my need to be respected.

If I have been crucified with Christ, then the version of me that needs to be seen, honored, validated, and deferred to is not supposed to be leading the conversation.

That version of me is not supposed to be in charge of the sales call.

That version of me is not supposed to make the final decision.

That version of me is not supposed to determine the tone of my response.

The crucified life does not mean I stop leading.

It means Christ leads through me.

It does not mean I stop discerning.

It means discernment is purified from offense.

It does not mean I stop setting boundaries.

It means boundaries are established from peace, not punishment.

There is a version of leadership that sounds strong but is really self-protection.

There is a version of discernment that sounds wise but is really wounded pride.

There is a version of “protecting the team” that may be true, but is also being used to cover the fact that I felt personally dishonored.

That is the work beneath the work.

The call exposed the prospect.

But it also exposed me.

And that is the mercy of God. He does not expose what is hidden in us to shame us. He exposes it to free us.

The Better Questions

Since that call, I have started asking myself better questions:

Those questions are not just for sales calls.

They apply to leadership meetings.

They apply to client relationships.

They apply to ministry conflict.

They apply to family conversations.

They apply anywhere my flesh wants to dress itself in the language of wisdom while avoiding the surrender of the cross.

Because the reality is this: I can be right in the decision and wrong in the spirit.

I can identify the red flags and still respond from the flesh.

I can decline the relationship and still need repentance.

I can protect the business and still miss the invitation to become more like Christ.

That is why reflection matters.

Leaders cannot only review outcomes.

We must review our hearts.

We must ask not only, “Was that a wise decision?”

We must also ask, “Who was leading me when I made it?”

• Was it Christ?
• Or was it offense?
• Was it stewardship?
• Or was it ego?
• Was it wisdom?
• Or was it the need to be respected?

The Throne of Respect

The idol was not obvious at first.

It rarely is.

Idols often hide behind legitimate values.

• Respect is a legitimate value.
• Honor is a legitimate value.
• Professionalism is a legitimate value.
• Clear communication is a legitimate value.

But any legitimate value can become an illegitimate ruler.

When respect becomes the condition for my obedience, it has become too powerful.

When honor becomes the requirement for my peace, it has become too central.

When being treated properly becomes the thing that determines whether I reflect Christ, then respect has taken a throne in my heart.

And that throne does not belong to respect.

It belongs to Jesus.

That does not mean I go back and work with people who are not aligned.

It does not mean I ignore warning signs.

It does not mean I confuse humility with poor stewardship.

It means I let Christ govern the reason, the tone, and the timing of my no.

The no may still be necessary.

But it should be clean.

• Clean of offense.
• Clean of ego.
• Clean of the need to prove my value.
• Clean of the desire to make sure the other person knows they crossed a line.

That is the kind of leadership I want to walk in.

Not leadership that merely gets the business decision right. Leadership that lets Christ rule the heart behind the decision.