Surviving Hate Mail And Other Discouraging Events

If you haven’t gotten some hate mail already, at some point you will and if you haven’t lost team members, at some point you will.  As you begin to position yourself in a place of high visibility within the market place it is inevitable that you will face the opportunity to get discouraged.  This may come in the form of people who send you nasty hate mail messages when they don’t like something about you or your message.  Other times this comes in the form of the team member who gives up and quits before they ever get started.   Either way these things have the potential to sink your ship if you are not careful.   When facing challenges such as these it is important that you remember to not take it personal.  Your response to these situations are not only the building blocks of character, but they are also the forging process of a leader.

Surviving The Hate Mail Blast

When you step into leadership roles you become more visible not only to those you are leading , but also to a larger segment of the population.  Inevitably this will lead some to take a shot at you in the name of “expressing themselves.”  A few days ago, a friend of mine received a message rebuking him for having a girlfriend and asserting that he was unfamiliar with biblical teachings on having a girlfriend.   Friday I received a hate mail message that was sent through an email service that sets up email addresses for 10 minutes for the purpose of sending spam.  This message started out with the writer swearing at me, calling me names and then telling me that my analysis of another company was incorrect.   Needless to say this is all part of the territory.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY67GNB_Q30[/youtube]

The key to surviving these types of interactions is being prepared for them, before they ever happen.   In the ministry I have always lived by a rule that my mentor gave me many years ago:  “If you receive a letter without a return address, just throw it in the trash.  That letter is only meant to tear you down.”    My secretary always knew that I did not want letters that were unsigned or had no return address.   After reading a few of those letters out of curiosity, she quickly understood what I meant.

How To Deal With Your Hate Mail

So this brings me to survival tip number 1.   When you receive a message with no name or a bogus email address, you can rest assured there is nothing positive to be gained from that message.   If you happen to read it, don’t get upset.  Make a quick evaluation for any nuggets of truth that can be applied and then delete that sucker.   Beyond that walk away from any urge that you have to respond, lash-out or defend yourself.   You are not going to change the mind of the individual sending you this type of hate mail correspondence and your response will do nothing more than pull you down.   It is critical that you just keep moving forward and not lend credibility to such things.

People Will Move On

The second item to address is dealing with people who move on.  As you become more recognized as a leader, people will be drawn to you.  Many of these people are coming to you with expectations that are unrealistic.  They are hoping that you will be the one that has the magic formula for making them successful.   Once they realize that your formula requires dedication, commitment and hard work they are just as quick to move on.

Again, it is important that this not become a personal issue for you.  The truth is you are probably one of many leaders that this person has connected to and obviously you are not the first one they have left either.   Your preparation for such departures is your best defense to the discouragement that will try to creep in.   By not taking these departures personally, you can keep your eyes focused forward on the goals that you have established for yourself and your business.   These departures are part of the pruning process that allows you to have the best team possible on the field with you.   Regardless of whether people are joining or leaving it is imperative that you keep moving forward.

In the end remember this is a people business, many people will love you and a few will send you some occasional hate mail.